Thursday, March 9, 2017

I ate a Carolina Reaper.


Yes, I ate a Carolina Reaper. Why, you ask? That is because I live for the challenge. Specifically, spicy challenges. I'm no stranger when it comes to eating dangerously spicy foods. For instance, I once ate a taco labeled the "Death Taco" from a restaurant called "Genkiyaki". Now this taco was absolutely filled with habanero extract, which is worse than the actual pepper. A few seconds after my first bite of the taco, I quickly reached for my soda and attempted to bring down the heat. However, my attempts were futile and I had to endure the pain for however long it lasted. The pain felt as if my tongue was suffering from first degree burns. However, this pain was nothing compared to what I had to suffer through with the Carolina Reaper.

The Carolina Reaper is considered the spiciest chili pepper in the world as of this writing with a Scoville rating (which is used to measure spiciness) of up to 2,200,000 Scoville heat units! That's more than two times as hot as the famous ghost pepper! My cousin Derek showed me the pepper early in the morning the day of my other cousin's wedding. I was very hesitant to try it. There was no way I was missing my cousin's wedding ceremony, and I definitely did not want to show up to my own cousin's wedding while I'm dying a spicy death. I pondered for hours during the wedding ceremony and reception. Is it worth going through immense pain to say you ate the Carolina Reaper, the hottest pepper on the planet? Are the bragging rights really worth it? Do you want to die? To the first two questions I answered, "Hell yeah."

After the wedding was over, I headed home to take on the fiery challenge. No one could convince me not to take the challenge at that point. I sat down on the couch in my living room with Carolina Reaper in hand, anxiously waiting for the moment I was ready to take a bite. After documenting the beginning of my death on camera, I, with brave stupidity, tore the chili pepper off the stem with my teeth and swallowed.

A few seconds passed before I felt a sudden, rising burning sensation on my tongue. The pain had arrived much quicker than I had anticipated. Within a minute or so, I had to make a dash for the milk (or rather, the coconut milk). Unbeknownst to me, there was only about an eighth of a carton left. How unlucky I was for this to happen. I had to get water immediately. I knew it would probably make the heat worse, but it would at least cool my mouth down for a second with each swig. With a water cup by my side, I prayed to the heavens on a floor mat for my survival. Only later was I informed that there was ice cream in the freezer. The lords have saved me! Unfortunately, the vanilla ice cream was completely frozen and tough to scoop. I could only scavenge a meager amount of ice cream on a spoon, but it was just enough to help cool my tongue. A few minutes after, the burning in my mouth started to cease. I had to thank my high spice tolerance for shortening the time I had to endure intense pain from eating the Carolina Reaper. In reality, that was only the beginning.

About fifteen minutes later, the burning sensation that was on my tongue transferred into my stomach. It was not good. I sprinted to restroom in hopes of finding salvation. However, it would not come no matter how hard I tried. An hour later, I felt as if I was going insane. Running around the house like a deranged lunatic, writhing on the floor in incredible agony. It felt as if someone had ignited thermite from within my stomach. My stomach could have replaced the knives in those 1000 degree knife videos! I was forced to take my shirt off as the heat was making my whole body sweat. Finally, the pain reached an incredible level that was no longer bearable. I forced myself to violently disgorge my stomach contents into the toilet. As a result of this, I could feel extremely intense acidic burns throughout my stomach, esophagus, and mouth. Moments later, I suddenly passed out.

Thirty minutes later, I woke up finding myself on the bathroom floor. The pain was now reduced to a lingering burning feeling in the stomach. Compared to what I had to go through, it was absolutely bearable. Leaning of the bathroom door, a feeling of relief encompassed me. I had survived the Carolina Reaper.

In retrospect, do I feel that it was worth it? My foolish pride says yes, but my stomach says no. The Carolina Reaper gave me the most excruciating stomach pain I had ever experienced in my life. Would I do it again? Maybe. I'm definitely not doing it alone however. I will say this to conclude this writing. I fear that there will be a new chili pepper in the future that bests even the Carolina Reaper in terms of spiciness. I cannot wait for the day of its conception to come.

P.S.

I plan on releasing video footage of my experience sometime in the future.

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